Tag Archives: pain

Daily Life: Kicking My Kidney

15 Jul

If you don’t know me – then you don’t know my kidney‘s hate me. Freshman year of college I had kidney stones. I woke up feeling like my stomach was eating itself so I grabbed two packs of pop-tarts instead of one and headed to class. Sitting through class I wasn’t feeling to hott and eating was NOT making it any better. In fact I immediately stopped eating after a few bites of the first pop tart. I also have hypoglycemia so when I got hot flashes and immediately after that got cold chills I thought for sure I was going to pass out and I held out through class knowing I was missing everything the teacher was saying and it was going to be a rough week (this class wasn’t easy..). Class finally ended and I walked out of the room and realized that I could barely walk once I got to the door. My side was in so much pain I thought I was going to die. Somehow in a weird uncomfortable pushing myself kind of way I made it to my dorm where I fell on my floor and didn’t move for a half hour. It got worse. I started crying and it wouldn’t go away. At about that time my roommate woke up and freaked out, she got on WebMD and swore my appendix was bursting. She then dragged me to the school doctor’s office and I was still crying and almost screaming!! Finally got rushed into a back room and they shot me with some drugs because they couldn’t get my temperature, blood pressure, or anything because I was in fetal position screaming. An ambulance ride and a couple of hours later I was sent home with no answer to what was wrong with me. This happened twice more until they found out I had kidney stones.

Everyone says that kidney stones are the worst pain you can ever feel. I don’t know if it’s because I had my kidney stones first but a few years after that I broke my leg – didn’t hurt half as bad as kidney stones. A few years after the broken leg I gave birth – still was not NEARLY as painful as kidney stones. Yesterday at 1:00 a.m. My stomach started hurting and I thought it would go away. It didn’t. Mid-afternoon still hurting and I thought – crap it’s kidney stones isn’t it.. but it was a little different. This pain came and went away and came and went away every couple of minutes.

Last night I went to the hospital because it kept getting worse – now I was feeling like they were just like contractions – but hello!! I’m not pregnant!! Two hours of waiting and a few tests later. There’s a kidney stone that looks like it could drop – but it hasn’t dropped yet so it shouldnt’ be causing pain (very much like the result I got at my first trip to the hospital freshman year). Appendix test – not it. The only thing they can come up with is a kidney infection. I’m not sold on the answer just because last time it took three hospital visits for them to figure out it was kidney stones – but either way JUST TAKE THE FLIPPING KIDNEY OUT! I’m ready to divorce this kidney and move on with my life 😉

So a big apology to all of those who have been wondering why I have been MIA. My kidney hates me and I hate my kidney too 😛

Hope everyone else had a better week than me!!

Love Always,

J

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Working Mom: A Painful Day!

25 Apr

Sunday night I sat here dreading working today. I normally don’t dread working because I love kids and my job is playing with them and taking care of them all day, but for some reason I was just really not ready for it. Well my gut instinct was ridiculously correct. P had a completely horrible day today. Somebody is not only teething, but she was so constipated that she was screaming.. constantly. I couldn’t get her to eat anything but I was determined to flush her out with fluids or fruits so I kept trying with the bottle. She finally relaxed long enough for me to get lunch ready for all of us and eat, well kind of.. P wouldn’t eat anything else, and E decided to follow along. Not only did she scream for attention all morning but she refused to eat her lunch as well.

Then nap time … dun dun dunnn. Haha just kidding. Kind of.

P went down with a little fussing but not too much trouble, E on the other hand seemed completely fine one minute then was literally standing, snot running down her nose, tears rolling down her face, wailing. I don’t even know if she was really breathing much at all because it was just a constant flood of snot, tears, and wails. S is here by that time and running in circles around me asking me a million questions dying to jump in a swimming pool that needs to be blown up and filled with water..

E took a bottle and I put her down for a nap, then finally got the pool ready and S was then a happy camper.

It was not long after that then P woke up. Much happier at this point and a little less constipated but that only lasted a little while and she was back to being angry. I don’t know how it happened, but the last hour seemed to fly by. Maybe it was because I gave the girls a snack, juice, and put in Finding Nemo and kept myself busy cleaning the entire place while P was taking another short nap, or maybe it was because I didn’t have the chance to look at the clock until it was 4:30 but HOORAYY! Mommy came and got her girls and I plopped down on the couch in complete exhaustion.

If it wasn’t for my mom keeping me sane and my husband coming home, cooking dinner, helping me clean dinner, making me laugh, changing E, and putting her to bed, I would be a zombie right now!

I really owe my family for everything they do for me.

After that mess of a day, I am going to go curl up in a ball and thank the Lord that I have tomorrow off! Oh and you might not want to expect much accomplishment happening tomorrow because I might still be curled up in a ball all day tomorrow 😉

Love Always,

J

The Good the Bad the UGLY: Being a mom!

6 Oct

Get comfy over there! This one is going to interesting!

Lets start with the good 🙂

The things I love about being a mom.. Teaching her how to grow up while she teaches me how to be a kid again, giving her the things she needs to lead a happy and healthy life and she gave me my dream come true (to be a mom), teaching her abc’s and 123’s while she teaches me to watch what I say and manage my budget, teaching her to be independent and strong while she teaches me to be less selfish and a little more patience, and my favorite.. teaching her she can be whatever she wants to be and she teaches me it’s okay to be who I am.

And here’s the bad, which really just leads to more good 🙂

I don’t know about all you other moms but I lost a lot of my self-confidence in these four steps..

1) Pregnancy – I think the most self-conscious things were not being able to properly shave my legs with a basketball in front of me. That was probably my most difficult moment.. being pregnant in the summer and not having long enough arms to wear the shorts. Lifting my hands up long enough to do my hair! Man that was a hard one, since you can’t lift anything of value your upper body becomes completely weak and lifting my arms above my head made me light headed almost instantly! Oh and being too tired to pluck my eyebrows or put make up on. Looking like a slob when your supposed to be glowing is a complete debbie downer!!

2) Privacy – The need for people you don’t even know to ask you seriously personal questions .. how do you answer to that!!? Then there is the free show you give to the obgyn on a regular basis and to the entire hospital staff which for me was something I was dreading the entire pregnancy! Never been very comfortable about that.

3) Aftermath – I am talking about the 3 month belly you still have after the delivery. My favorite part was walking through stores and people saying aww your baby is precious and then you hear them gabbing to their girlfriend as they continue walking .. “I can’t believe she is already pregnant again!!” Really!?? The sad part is most of these gabbing girlfriends are older women who have probably already had their children and HAD THE THREE MONTH BELLY afterwards.. you would think of all people they would remember what it was like!

4) Now – This might not apply to many of you but because I am 4’11 and naturally skinny I look like I am 16 when I am definitely nearing my mid-twenties! Going to the mall with my mom and E and people walking by saying I am an amazing big sister… thanks. Then when I am at Target one day and a little girl (probably ranging from 8-10) asks me “hold is the baby?” and I reply “two months” and she asks “where’s the mommy?” …. “I am her mommy.” and then here’s the best part “how old are you?”   Ouch.

Another hard thing that I have come to terms with is making mommy friends. Looking as young as I do and being home a majority of the time makes it tough to find other moms out there. Part of the biggest struggle for me was going to those free mom and baby activities and being afraid I would be judged by all the other moms or I would be the youngest mom there. I finally took the hard step and went to the library for story and song time with E and made a new friend 🙂 I am hoping this will be the next step in the right direction for me!

But through all of the decomposing self-esteem stages and remarks I am a proud mother of a gorgeous one year old daughter. I now sleep through the night so I don’t look like a zombie anymore, I get to shower on a regular basis, I sometimes get the time to get all dressed up make up and all, and through all the pain I have gotten stronger and more confident. Which ultimately seems to be showing more signs that I am in fact her mother when I am out and about and people are noticing!

Like I said earlier my favorite part of being a mom is teaching her she can be whatever she wants to be and she teaches me it’s okay to be who I am.

Side note: Does anyone else get inspiration while in the shower? It seems like that is my thinking spot. I make lists, daydream funny stories, plan the future (over and over and over again), and think about the past.

Another side note: I want to thank my amazing husband for understanding me and giving me the ability to be a stay at home mom for my daughter.

Love Always,

J

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